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Post by runningpaw on Jul 17, 2009 5:30:00 GMT -5
Log-In Name: Runningstream IC Current Name/Future Name: CURRENT NAME:Runningpaw FUTURE NAME:Runningstream Rank: IF I get it, hopefully med cat apprentice. Gender: She cat Age: 6 moons
Reference/Summarized Description: A silver she-cat with blue eyes and white paws. Detailed Description: Runningpaw is a silver she-cat with blue eyes that always sparkel. She has white paws and a long tail. Her long tail is not bushy.
Personality: She loves to learn, and is almost always happy. She is friendly, but shy towards those she doesn't know. She is a little brave sometimes, but not really the bravest. She haes fighting, and wants to stop it. She belives in Starclan and is kind- usually. She can be serious when needbe. She has always seen Starclan, no matter where. She is willing to be a med cat apprentice, but nothing else. History: Born outside the clans, but given a clan name, she is odd. She always seems happy and determined, but her mother still hated her. She was abandoned and she somehow managed by eating bugs as well as mice and shrews. She will not join the clans if she can't be med cat apprentice. Her knowledge of herbs does help.She is a bit childish, but can be serious. She obeys the warrior code as well as being highly loyal.
Roleplay Sample: Runningpaw pricked her ears up. Was that mouse? She parted her jaws and tasted the air. It was mouse! She pinpointed the location and started stalking. Shoulders and haunches matched in rythem as the silver she-cat stalked her prey. She moved unoticed, untill it was too late. In seconds of nearing it,she pounced on the small creatura and gave it a bite to the neck.She would be full- for now.
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Post by Crab on Jul 17, 2009 5:48:11 GMT -5
Medicine Cat Apprentice IS up to the Medicine Cat. It will be decided ICly, not OOCly. Missing a reference photo. Detailed Description reaaally needs to be expanded on - maybe talk about her build and such. No. The Medicine Cat and Leaders are the only cats in the Clan who see StarClan. She is not Medicine Cat Apprentice - therefore she sees nothing. We don't do prophecies that center on certain cats. Yes, it's like a prophecy. Like she was specifically chosen to be a Medicine Cat by StarClan. That would need to be discussed by staff. But right now - no. Once again, no. She should be willing to take whatever rank given to her, seeing as according to her history she was a loner or whatever. Which I will get too in a sec. But anyway I don't think she'd go against her new leader's word if she wasn't chosen to be Med. Cat Apprentice. When was she accepted into the Clan? Besides; I don't think Coconutstar would just let random kittens into his Clan in fear of messing up the pure-feral-cat lineage of his Clan. Well. If she's just now six moons, I doubt she'd be able to hunt. Most kittens are weaned from their mothers at around 3 or 4 moons me thinks. And then: Well. I think her mother would be the only one to teach her to hunt, and if I had a kid whom I didn't like, I would not teach it skills necessary for survival. Then why are you trying for LushClan? No one can guarantee you a spot at Medicine Cat Apprentice. So, if you don't get it, what are you going to do? Get up and leave LushClan? That does not make very much sense too me. Loners know nothing about herbs - well only little simple things. Once again this goes back to her mother. IF her mother had knowledge of herbs, why would she teach the daughter she hated about them? I think that's more personality rather then history Ohkayso. The only time a Warrior/Apprentice whatever would eat their kill on the spot is when they're on Dawn Patrol I believe. Otherwise they take it back to camp. It's breaking the code to eat it on the spot. IF she's on Dawn Patrol, maybe change it a bit so that it makes more sense? Wow that was a lot o3o -- If you edit it, be sure to use the Modify button in the top right corner to edit. Don't create a new thread plz.
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Post by runningpaw on Jul 17, 2009 5:58:33 GMT -5
Don't ask me how. Starclan helped her. Her mom dumped her. And I never make sense. Again- STARCLAN. Who exactaly cares?AND SHE'S NOT IN A CLAN IN THAT RP. Geez.
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Post by Crab on Jul 17, 2009 6:04:38 GMT -5
Once again. We don't do prophecies that center on certain cats.
At what age? If she was younger then three moons, she wouldn't survive.
I can see this.
Again - We aren't doing prophecies that center on single cats.
Um..I do? We try to focus on realistic Warrior Roleplay, which means following the books and such. And with that we add a twist of how cats actually behave/hunt/ and other things.
Then why is she being referred to as Runningpaw...? Unless you meant her mother gave her a Clan name. Loners don't give their kits clan names. They have names like: Tree, Sand, Water, ect.
It kinda seems like you ignored everything I said.
:3
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Post by runningpaw on Jul 17, 2009 6:12:02 GMT -5
>:(RUNNINGPAW MAD! Mommy USED to be clan cat, but she is just an unamed clan cat so I forget her. I was 5 moons old and MOSTLY ATE BUGS. I caught a few mice and once even a fish. Sense means nothing and FIRE ALONE CAN SAVE OUR CLAN isonly Firester. This isn't a PROPHOCY but Starclan want to help poor little Runningpaw. I help them by telling rouges and loners about Starclan.
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Post by Crab on Jul 17, 2009 6:22:24 GMT -5
....I doubt her said mother would want anything to do with a Clan she left or got exiled from, so that doesn't make very much sense.
.. well. No. No hunting whatsoever. Especially not fishing. Fishing is very hard for cats who weren't born by the water and taught how, and LC territory is not made for fishing and what not.
...Firestar was just someone fail who started the series. And if you're not aware, that is pretty much a prophecy.
Why would StarClan contact some loner who was young and such? They really only pay attention to Clan Cats. Please stop going against what I say. e.e That's considered a prophecy and is therefore not allowed. Why not just make a Clan born cat?
And it'd be easier if you did not refer to yourself as your character. Yes your character is you and you are your character, but it's confusing when you say stuff like 'I went hunting today' instead of 'Runningpaw went hunting'
I dunno. Maybe I should just wait and see what Gale thinks of all this e.e
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Post by runningpaw on Jul 17, 2009 6:30:14 GMT -5
*sigh* Always critique... It hurts me... Runningpaw is just Runningpaw, her ma just named her that, she wasn't even IN Lushclan yet, just wandering, Runningpaw IS NOT a clanborn technicaly, there is no prophecy, just a cat destined to be a med cat, and I don't feel like editing all that when it's 7:29 and I haven't slept all night. ;_;
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Post by Gale on Jul 17, 2009 11:20:03 GMT -5
I can really only repeat what Crab said. The problems with the actual application: missing reference photo and lacking a proper detailed description.
But with what Crab mentioned, the main problem is that she was born outside LushClan. Everything (her mother, knowledge of herbs, hunting that young, believing in StarClan, knowing the warrior code, even knowing what a medicine cat is) are reasons of why this application wouldn't be accepted. If Runningpaw was born in the Clan, then a lot of these would be okay.
Also, at this point in the dream, since it's so new and we don't have many members yet, we're not making huge plots or prophecies until the dream kinda gets moving a bit. YES, I know you said this wasn't a prophecy, it's just StarClan, but in the dream, it's basically the same thing. It basically means "something told by higher powers to one person, the prophet." Or in warrior terms: "something told by StarClan to one cat." Which is not allowed.
So maybe, start with her being born in the Clan, and then work your way through the problems we listed. Then we'll see if there's anything else.
I'm sorry Crab is being a buttmunch about it; I'm trying to help. If any other staff have any suggestions, they're welcome to pipe up. ^^
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Post by Scalestar on Jul 17, 2009 12:58:36 GMT -5
*keeps quiet?*
No actually I have something to say. I'd like for you to run your application through spell check and fix all the misspelled words Please.
One more thing! If Running's mother left her for dead it doesn't matter if he/she can hunt, out there something would kill the kit without anyone to protect it. And "if" that mother really did teach Running about Herbs then she would have told her about traveling herbs no? With that said think about how mice are hunted. Slowly so they don't make the ground shake. Mice can feel the vibrations of the earth that other creatures make and I'm pretty sure kits at that age aren't light on their feet.
One last little thing. The only way a cat is destined to be something great is if StarClan sends a message to the Medicine cat or the leader. Or at least that's the way I see it.
*Has added her two cents.*
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Post by dayheart on Jul 22, 2009 20:48:18 GMT -5
I have something to say too.
Crab is right about mostly everything. I would make the decision if you were to become a medicine cat apprentice. And why would a mother hate or leave her beloved kit? How did that happen?
It is missing a reference photo, and staff can help with finding one if you do need assistance. There are some grammar mistakes, as Scale stated. The detailed description should definately be extended. A cat would not see StarClan everywhere, not even a medicine cat, and that would be very, very rare for a cat like Runningpaw.
A loner wouldn't know about StarClan, or be destined to be a medicine cat apprentice. And a medicine cat probably wouldn't take an apprentice who claims to be "destined" to do it, no matter how true it is. They wouldn't know about the warrior code either. Running paw would not know about herbs, although maybe that poppy seeds were good for pains and cobwebs were good for bleeding.
So, unfortnately, if you do no fix these problems, you will probably not be accepted into WIO.
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Post by Gooseflight on Jul 28, 2009 15:27:45 GMT -5
^ : : :
everything they said. i can't do anything better.
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Post by Gale on Jul 29, 2009 12:12:56 GMT -5
If the user does not reply by Friday, July 31, this application will be moved to ABANDONED.
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